Throwback Thursday : A Poem By Fifteen Year Old Me

by Cassie

Alternate title: FEMINIST 35 YEAR OLD ME IS HORRIFIED

Alternate alternate title: Please Never Let My Daughter Write Something Like This

There are certain things I want to let you know but can’t explain
The only kiss we’ve ever shared is all that’s kept me sane
I used to only have fantasies of what could someday be
They kept me hanging on, but never really let me see
The wide horizon over which my love for you could flow
No matter what I go through, no matter where I go.
I want to tell you all these things right to your smiling eyes
But every time I think of you, some hope in me just dies
I used to think that memories would be better than what I had
But now I realize memories just help to keep me sad
The thought of that night and that one sweet kiss is forever on my mind
That soft, small touch of heaven was the only one of its kind
You may not think of me often, I know you have your life
But the thought of you forgetting just cuts me like a knife
Yes, I’m glad I have the memories to hold on to in the night
But they provide a constant struggle, a never-ending fight
I seem to be playing tug of war between my mind and heart
One says I’m a fool, the other says don’t let you part
I’ve always been the kind to think things through the end
But with you I know it’s right, you’re truly my Godsend
Even after all I’ve gone through, after everything you’ve done,
In my life you’re still the light, like the rising morning sun
I’ll love you always and forever, even if you don’t feel the same
And even though I’ve lost at my own heart’s little game
You’ll always be the only one for me, until I’m gone
Just do me one small favor, when you see the coming dawn
Think of how I still hold you here inside my heart,
Just as the sun announces the new day’s coming start.

–1993

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