New Moon Eve

by Cassie

“In the run up to the turning of the new year, the Capricorn Moon conjuncts Mercury, Pluto, and the Sun by a close orb. This puts it right in play with the cardinal t-square involving Uranus and Mars. As the year turns, it’s a conjunction, but not an exact new moon. It’s so close, though, that the effect is similar. Think of your NYE resolutions as intentions. This year they hold extra weight.

It seems pretty clear we’re all meant to work at something this year, the benefit of which taking some time to uncover. It’s a good time to decide what it is you’re willing to work for, to work and keep on working to achieve. Balancing self and other and innovating your approach is likely to figure in as well.”

Intention. Intentional.

The most important concept of my coming year.

Living intentionally means many different things to many different people. For me, it means paying attention to my life, the big events that change the course of things, and the mundane moments that are blink and you’ll miss them. For me, it means thinking about the words I’m saying, the things I’m typing, the energy I am putting out into the world — and sometimes it means not saying something, not typing, not offering an opinion, and consciously choosing to not wallow in negative emotions that don’t serve me, and don’t serve anyone around me. For me, it means opening myself up completely to my own mortality, understanding that my time here is finite, that what I do with the time I have matters, because I only have this one life to try and get it right. For me, it means devoting myself only to things that promote passion, peace, kindness, and love in my own life and in the lives of those I call family and friends.

And finally, for me, it means facing the ugliest parts of myself, owning them, and both accepting their existence and working to change the ones I feel I can no longer coexist with.

This is my first post in my new blog the night before the new year. I don’t want to do resolutions this year; inevitably, they fall by the wayside, and leave me feeling even more disgruntled and disenchanted than I was when I made them. This New Year’s Eve, I want to proclaim my intentions, the things I will consciously CHOOSE to do in 2014, the things that will bring me fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment, and will enrich my life in ways both large and small.

This year, I will:

– Read all the unread books on my bookshelf.

– Watch all the unseen movies we own.

– Fill a notebook per month. This means writing every day. EVERY DAY. I don’t need to make a masterpiece, I only need to tell a story.

– Tell my story. Write my life.

– Run 10 miles a week. I need the movement, I need the open air, I need the clarity and the breaths and the self-imposed loneliness.

– Less Facebook. Delete the mobile app, remove the bookmarks. Stop seeking validation from social networking. Likes and comments mean nothing in the real world, in a life being really lived. The only validation that’s ever going to mean anything is going to come from within myself. REMEMBER THAT.

– More tattoos. My body IS a temple, and I get to choose how to adorn it.

– Stop worrying about weight. Twenty years of daily worry —  literally at least 7300 days of thinking about a number on a scale — is too damn many. I will feed myself healthy, nutritious food when I am hungry, and sometimes, I will eat a cupcake. Sometimes I will eat two cupcakes.

– Travel. See more. Make an effort to meet longtime friends face to face so I can hug them hard enough it hurts a little.

– Print pictures. PRINT THEM. Print them in wallet sizes, print them and put them in small frames, print them on canvases whenever I can. Pictures don’t live their best lives behind a computer screen. They deserve to breathe out in the open.

Finally, here in this inaugural post, I promise to remember this: sometimes a blog post can just be a blog post. It doesn’t have to be anything earth shattering, it doesn’t need to be life changing, it isn’t necessary to craft a perfect post every time I hit “publish.” I’ve got to let the storytelling be enough. The details  are what matter, not how prettily they’re arranged.

This year, I’m going to be an intentional storyteller.

This year, I’m just going to read and write and run and ink beautiful things onto my skin and eat well and see people and make handheld memories.

New moon, new year.

New intentions.

New benedictions.

Happy New Everything.